Let’s Focus on Forgiveness

Global Forgiveness Day is on July 7th every year to encourage the art of forgiving. It aims to spread awareness about the healing power of forgiveness and its importance for a more peaceful life. Studies have proved that people who choose to forgive are healthier and happier.

Why Can Forgiveness Be So Difficult?

• We may think the other person doesn’t deserve our forgiveness. They may not, but we deserve to be free of anger in the end.
• When we think about forgiving the other person, we are reminded of what they did, and may become angry all over again. This reaction will become less intense over time as we accept what happened.
• We think forgiving the other person is the same as saying what they did was okay. This is not true, and forgiveness should be accompanied by protecting yourself from future harm.

Who to Forgive? Some Examples.

• Forgive yourself if you’re feeling self-directed anger for anything, such as goals you haven’t met, promises to yourself you haven’t fulfilled, or mistakes you’ve made in the past. Be kind to yourself.
• Forgive your parents if you’re holding onto anger from your childhood.
• Forgive people you grew up with if you had some childhood experiences, you’re still angry about.
• Forgive your spouse or partner if you have any relationship baggage that you’re holding onto.

How to Let Go and Forgive.

• Forgiving means letting go of anger and accepting what happened. But it does not mean condoning the behavior, and you can forgive and take steps toward protecting yourself in the future.
• Express what you feel and try to write down your feelings as a journal entry or letter. Don’t send the letter but write about what you experienced and how forgiving will help you move on.
• Instead of ruminating over the negative experience, focus on what you’ll gain by letting go of your anger.  Be present and practice gratitude.